Wednesday, December 17, 2025

New Prologue - Beginning

 As promised, below is the new prologue for Golden Dawn. 


Beginning

At the start of Leonidas, two great queens ruled over the land, bestowed upon them by the Sun, Moon, and Stars. For 1,000 years they guided their people through the ebbs and flows of life. No matter what storms they weathered, their followers always came away stronger thanks to their wisdom. Each person lived in harmony with the other. While nothing is perfect, their existence came quite close. The queens had every faith in them.

But the Gods knew better.

Slowly, people’s hearts began to change. Blind to their abundance, they sought to take from others, despite having plenty themselves. As a consequence, the Gods set into place a punishment. Whatever you stole from another would be stolen from you. Those who stole the magic of others found that after doing so, they could no longer use as much themselves. Those who disregarded such warnings and continued their thievery soon found that they lost all magical capability. They would never again sail upon the breeze, dance on the surface of a lake, or hear the quiet, ancient whispering of the trees.

Many saw their mistakes and swore never to take from their fellow people, urging those that had to turn away from their path. Despite their outreach, many of the thieves found themselves embittered, furious at their misfortune and resentful to those who had kept their magic. The world split into two. The enchanters, magicians determined not to repeat the same mistakes, and Vulcans, those who had lost their magic and blamed everyone but themselves.

Tensions between them built and built with the queens powerless to stop them, no matter how hard they tried. On the eve of the 1,001st year, everything changed. In the dead of night on a bed of silver leaves laid a man, hardly breathing. Blood poured out from beneath him, soaking the shoes of those who surrounded him. As he let out his last breath, the sky split open.

Thousands of bright, dazzling lights rained down on Leonidas, as if the Stars themselves were falling. As they crashed they shook the ground, rattling the trees and bringing with them a howling wind. The queens awoke from their slumber with a start, clambering out of their bed and out the door of their villa. Streaks of light shot across the sky, casting shadows on the land. Queen Aoife held tightly to her wife’s hand. “Xaawo, what’s happening?”

Her inky black eyes were knowing, full of sorrow. “The era of peace is over. A life has been taken.”

“Wise as always, Xaawo.” An echoing voice spoke. From above, three figures descended. Their radiance was blinding, their skin shimmering with the luster of a thousand gems. They were three times the queens’ size, tall enough that their heads were at eye level with theirs from the bottom of the stairs leading to the villa.

The queen bowed her head, great, spiraling braids tumbling over her shoulders. “An honor to see you all again, even in a time such as this.”

Aoife found herself stunned at their presence before following her wife’s lead.

The largest of them stepped forward, vibrant orange and yellow hues coloring her form. Upon her brow was her blazing insignia, the Sun. Her hair billowed out from her head like clouds at Sunset, at once solid and formless. “As are we.” She spoke, bowing. “You have done well.”

“Are we…?” Aoife asked, trailing off.

Sun nodded. “Mortal, yes.”

“Now the real fun starts!” Said the being next to her. They were much shorter than their fellow gods, and much brighter as well. The Stars on their face and body danced about, giddy as the one who bore them.

“Stars.” The Moon spoke, placing a large, blue hand on them. His soft azure waves fell like water, rippling as if they were as well.

Stars looked at him sheepishly, then bowed to the Queens. “Sorry.”

Queen Xaawo shook her head. “We have served our people as much as we could. It is time for us to move on.”

Sun nodded. “Very well. Then we have only a message to deliver.” She took hold of Star’s and Moon’s hands, their light growing until the queens could no longer look directly at them. They began to speak in unison. “Once unending, now finite, forsaken are those who steal divine light. Division shall grow to breadths unseen, drawing them to the sword’s mighty sheen. No blood that is shed, no land that is plundered, shall return to them their magic sundered. From a flood of hate a child shall be born, from their breast an oath sworn. To deliver the world from eternal night and show them the truth, hidden from sight.”

Aoife clung tightly to Xaawo. “What does that mean?”

Moon smiled. “It remains to be seen.”

This scripture was uncovered in the Sacred Caverns of the Sun outside Apollon and is allegedly one of the only remnants of the Great War.

Progress

 Info Dump #14: Progress + Obligatory Updates


Hello again! Humiliatingly, this blog gets as many updates as my goddamn diary. Regardless, I'll carry on. I'll try to include some notable changes/updates to the story's progress and development below. 

  • Rewriting

    • I'm actually rewriting the story. I reached a point at the ending where the flow was not only unnatural, but felt like a complete departure from what I was trying to accomplish in the first place. So, following some advice from a reposted Tumblr post on Pinterest, I'm rewriting. And I must say, it's some of the best advice I've ever gotten. Allow me to list some of the improvements I've seen. 
      • Characterization - I'm able to better understand the characters' journeys and the roles they're meant to play throughout the book, where as I was previously just kind of flying by the seat of my pants. 
        • A big point regarding this specifically is better building the menace that Aeneas has/his control over Deitra's peace of mind as opposed to just throwing it in.
      • Length/Bulk - While I love my story in all its forms, I must say that the first draft was notably incredibly bulky. That is to say, chock full of endless unnecessary details and interactions. I found that I really cut out a LOT of things, not because I didn't like them, but because they were kind of detracting from the main plot. 
      • Starting - The first part of the story is undoubtedly one of the most important parts. While I really liked my first draft's beginning initially, I went back and found it lackluster. I was able to build the story on a much better foundation as a result of pruning and reimagining without clinging to the original vision for dear life. 
        • Note: I will post the new and improved prologue in the next update, as I want to show the proof in the pudding so to say. Also I'm just proud and want to be praised. 

  • Pallas and Callie

    • As I've stated in a previous post, Callie and Pallas are based off of friends I used to be close to, (Note: I was way closer to Callie than I ever was to Pallas). Something I noticed as I went along writing in the last stretch of the first draft was the chemistry between the two. They're always bantering, or Callie is trying to keep Pallas's hot-headedness from getting them into trouble. 
    • So I decided to include a side romance between them, both as a foil/parallel to Deitra's relationship with Aethra and an ohmage to the messiness that sometime comes as a result of queer relationships. 
    • Also I just fuckin love a tsundere relationship, sue me. 

  • Biology

    • There are quite a few changes that have happened in this department! I'm excited to discuss them, but also hesitant as a result of my ever changing mind regarding it. But I honestly may as well. 
      • Gender - When it comes to gender in Golden Dawn/Leonidas, its far more of a choice/performance than anything formal. All people develop breasts, whether or not you choose to have them removed is purely personal preference and does little to affect people's perception/acceptance of your chosen gender. 
      • Reproduction - All humans are born from eggs, as opposed to typical Earth human anatomy. Feasibly speaking, anyone in Leonidas can get 'pregnant' (gestate and lay eggs), but fertility issues may still crop up. 
      • Gestation - Eggs are generated under 2 conditions. 
        • One, you give up half of your own mana to self-fertilize (not a cloning or half-the-genes situation, think almost divine conception).
        • Two, one human fertilizes another.
          • If this occurs and the receiving part is not in their fertile phase, the egg/eggs with be generated and laid within 1-3 days (though some unfertilized eggs have been known to take 7 days to fully develop and exit)
            • Note - There is nothing inside these eggs aside from raw mana, which cannot be absorbed. 
          • If this occurs and the receiving party is in their fertile phase (typically a period of 1-2 months every 1.5-2 years), the egg/eggs will develop over a period of between 3-6 months, at which point they are expelled from the body. 
            • When outside of the body, the egg will continue to develop for 1-6 more months. Some babies can emerge on their own, while others need help, the shell steadily gets stronger as time passes.
            •  There will be glowing marks on the egg. They will start off pale and gather more color and begin to glow the further into development the child is within the egg. If you reach the 6th/7th month with a bright mark and no cracks in the egg, its best to have a doctor assist in breaking open the shell. 
            • It is found that the child, upon emergence, will look the most like the person who cared for/was around their egg. 
So! As you can see, quite a few developments. I may delve deeper into the genitalia in further entries, or maybe not. I'll give a hint as to what I'm thinking of, as it's still in development. Flowers. That's all for now, as always, the ghosts reading this blog are free to ask any questions their little hearts desire. Toodleoo!

New Prologue - Beginning

 As promised, below is the new prologue for Golden Dawn.  Beginning At the start of Leonidas, two great queens ruled over the land, bestowed...